I am woman!

When I was at school, I had a fantastic English teacher whom I really admired.  What I loved the most was her feminism.  She truly believed that women could do anything; she believed it so much, she would reword the Bible with inclusive language.  Such was the culture within the All-Girls Catholic school I attended.

As a teenager and young adult, feminism dominated my very existence.  I needed to achieve the best marks, have a successful career, travel the world and buy my own house, car, designer clothing and handbags.  I suspect that my ‘daddy issues’ intensified my passion for equality.  I even took a Women’s Studies class at university which equated to three hours of men bashing each week; and I loved it! I worked in a hardware store and consistently had to remind the male clientele that my eyes were actually much higher than their gaze.  A close friend and I regularly engaged in passionate discussions about our need to complete a PhD thesis on the inaccuracy of original sin.  The snake that tempted Eve was actually the phallic symbol that to us, linked original sin to men.  The list went on…

As I grew older and wiser, my feminist attitude mellowed and my passion to succeed was no longer rooted in the feminist ideal.  Sadly, the last few years have highlighted increasing sexism the workplace.  The perception being that we are not assertive but bitches and our expression of emotion is simply a feminine weakness caused by hormones.  Even though research increasingly demonstrates how women and men process information differently, function differently, and express emotions differently, it does not prioritise one way over the other.

So how does this background information apply to me now?

Over the last few years it has become increasingly obvious to me that sexism is alive and well.  Despite each professional achievement I make, it is becoming more and more obvious that my femininity directly affects how people perceive my ability.  In fact, I am consistently being under-estimated.  As if I wasn’t already challenged to overcome the stigma of epilepsy, I now find myself dealing with the consequence of having a well rounded pair of breasts, blonde hair, blue eyes and a childish sense of humor!

Whilst I refuse to join the testosterone fuelled pissing contest that seems to dominate leadership, I have come to the conclusion that something needs to change.  Unless I am prepared to turn into that scary spinster stereotype, I am going to have to find other ways to ensure my skills and knowledge are valued as equally as other male colleagues in similar positions.

For now, let my actions be guided by the philosophy of Oprah Winfrey who said:

“Excellence is the best deterrent to racism and sexism.”

Look out world, for ‘I am woman, hear me roar’!

MJ

Life: What an adventure!

Let’s face it, life is not always fun and games.  Too often we get overly focused on what is negative in our world.  For me, it has been the struggle to fall pregnant, financial limitations that meant I could not afford IVF and the usual work issues.

Over the last three months I’ve learnt to alter this mindset.  I was fortunate to participate in the Positive Mind Body program for fertility. It is a group program that supports women and their partners through the emotional ups and downs of infertility.  It wasn’t just the meditation, breathing exercises and mindfulness strategies that helped, but the opportunity to talk with other intelligent, successful women in the same situation.  They are all very successful in their chosen field of work and all want to have children.  It isn’t that we have the exact same infertility diagnoses or experiences, but that we have issues full stop.  For once, nobody told me it would be alright, that I should just calm down or go on a holiday.

The last time I contributed to my blog was a particularly low point in my life.  The Doctor told me to book an MRI because of a suspected complication.  The MRI returned clear and I fell apart in the Doctor’s office.  As odd as my mindset was, I was prepared to have a new diagnosis and expected months of medical intervention to correct it.  The news simply threw my forward planning into disarray.  So we decided to plan for an IVF cycle.  That was over a month ago.

“When life gives you a thousand reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.” (Unknown Author, www.boardofwisdom.com)

But there was one awesome complication… You see, I had recently been awarded a scholarship to attend a world conference in education.  So I am off to Scotland next week on the 20th July!  Yes, a person with epilepsy on an international journey, all alone!  What an adventure.

I told my Doctor about my upcoming trip overseas and we decided to do an egg collection and freeze.  In fact, she explained that for me, freezing and transferring later would be more effective and would eliminate the high possibility of over stimulation. It also meant that I could travel without worrying about an early pregnancy and the possibility of miscarriage whilst I am away.

I leave next week and know that I have seven little possibilities in the freezer.  There are so many things I am thankful and excited for:

  • I am excited that despite my epilepsy I can travel alone.
  • I am thankful for the scholarship and am looking forward to meeting new people.
  • I am excited to pick up my very own hand-made set of bagpipes.
  • I can’t wait to use ph00-pmy new camera and take awesome shots of the Scottish Highlands, and
  • I’m looking forward to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and the Military Tattoo.

On the 6th August I can return to Australia, apply what I learnt to my teaching, learn a new instrument, join a pipe band and to continue my journey to motherhood.

And although I know that my IVF journey is in it’s infancy, and that there will certainly be more disappointments before it is over, I can breath deeply and think about the thousand reasons I have to smile.

MJ